Slow Your Scroll for Real #Selfcare

​Self-care is having a moment. From bubble baths, chocolate cake, and wine, my Instagram feed is littered with #selfcaresunday posts with this kind of content. And, don’t get me wrong. Treating ourselves can be self-care. As a mental health professional, I’m excited to see individuals, especially women, focused on taking care of their emotional and mental health. But, it’s not all about indulgence. More often than not, real self-care is the hard work of intentionally removing the things that give us short term relief but create long-term negative consequences to our mental health.
 
Enter social media. Like many of you, I have a complicated relationship with social. On the one hand, I can keep up with friends and family I don’t see enough. I appreciate the Events tab on Facebook, which has kept me in the loop about local shows, cultural activities, farmers markets, and the like. It’s easy to post to one central location so that my friends and family can keep up with me, too. In fact, many a conversation has started with, “So I saw on Facebook (or Instagram) that you were at (fill in the blank). How was that?”
 
But, a lot of the time, social media leaves me feeling less-than-fulfilled. Sure, I see friends and family post vacation pictures and their kids’ best moments, but I’m not there to experience that with them. We might exchange brief, shallow pleasantries, but it’s difficult to engage in the deep, meaningful conversations that I crave. After scrolling mindlessly for an hour (or more! Some of us spend up to six hours per day on social!) I’m often left feeling guilty or unsatisfied about not using the time more productively. I feel annoyed about a post sharing inaccurate, false information. And, let’s not forget the infamous political rants that can leave me feeling demoralized about the state of our country for hours afterwards. Social media, with its benefits, can be a toxic place. In fact, 15 million Americans left Facebook this year, citing the constant stream of negative news, rants, and political posts, and stating they needed a mental health break as their reasons for jumping ship.
 
In addition to the toxic environment that social media can often create, there are other insidious consequences to engaging in it heavily. It contributes to a more sedentary lifestyle and decreases real-time interactions, both known to contribute to depression. More young people feel ill-equipped to engage socially because most of their interactions take place through a screen. Many people report increased anxiety due to FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. Never-ending notifications disrupt our work, sleep, and relationships. Upward social comparison, comparing our worst moments to other people’s best, is particularly damaging for young girls. After all, most of us are sharing our lives through filters, and it becomes easy to forget that others’ feeds are simply a highlight reel of best moments with heavy editing.
 
The research paints a startling picture. The more time we spend on social media, the more depressed, anxious, and lonely we feel. Maybe we don’t connect our use with those feelings. For those who suffer with mental health issues already, it might be difficult to point to an episode on social media and say that it caused our negative emotions. I’d encourage you to become vigilant about the content you’re consuming and take stock of how you feel immediately before and after being on social media. While I don’t endorse a complete departure from social media because it’s next to impossible in our culture today (though if you are interested in that approach, Cal Newport is someone worth checking out), I do encourage a mindful, deliberate approach to using social media. Here are four strategies to start with.
 

1. Limit your use to 30 minutes per day or less and schedule it.

While digital detoxes and #screenfreesaturdays are very popular, I find that many people return to the same unhealthy patterns for the rest of the week, with detrimental effects to their mood. Instead, opt for limited use each day. It is easier to do this if you delete social media apps from your mobile devices and choose to only visit social media sites from a computer. Use social media as a tool versus a habit; this means accessing the sites with a particular goal in mind rather than scrolling out of boredom. Turn off notifications so you only visit the sites when you choose to, rather than being prompted to continue checking in throughout the day.
 

1. Skip multi-tasking and engage mindfully.

When you use social media during your scheduled times, put everything else away. Focus completely on your goal, whether it’s checking in on family members or going to your favorite influencers’ pages for inspiration. You will get the most out of your time if you are not distracted by television, conversations, eating, and other activities that deserve our full attention, too.
 

1. Weigh the pros and cons of every site.

Explore the reasons you joined each social media site and ask yourself if each site still matches your values. I recently created a Twitter account to see what the hype is all about (very late to the game, I know). After a few months, I decided that Twitter was not adding any value to my life. I could connect with friends, family, and followers through Instagram and Facebook. I could access the influencers who I am most inspired by with a simple Google search or by following them on the social media sites I am already using. And, I prefer visual images over text, so I realized Instagram is the site that provides the content I most enjoy. By asking yourself if you can achieve your goals without a particular social media site, you will likely realize you don’t need most of the accounts you are keeping.
 

1. Keep phones out of the bedroom and avoid scrolling close to bedtime.

Insomnia and other sleep-related disorders are rising at alarming rates. And, the research is clear: Our devices our interrupting our sleep cycle and wreaking havoc on our circadian rhythm. The more time we spend on our devices close to bedtime, the less melatonin (a hormone that prompts us to get sleepy) is produced. On the subject of self-care, I argue that nothing is more important than a good night’s sleep.
 
If you are committed to self-care, consider decreasing your social media use. It will improve your mental health more than the myriad of short-term solutions that are being marketed throughout the wellness industry. Many of us struggle to fit self-care activities in on a regular basis. By giving up social media, you are freeing up your schedule to engage in the things and with the people that really matter. And, that’s real #selfcare.